i dunno what im doing anymore. i think things have gotten too much for me. i feel like im slowly burning bridges now instead of building them. i feel scared. i dunno if i should continue this anymore. maybe i should just leave everything behind like ive always planned last year. im scared of ruining things with people now. i feel like im slowly on the way to a mine field. i need to turn back now before it's too late. i might have already stepped in the wrong places without realizing it. im slowly losing control of myself.