it’s been a bit since i’ve laid down and written something. it’s mainly because how busy this month has been for me. and still continues to be. many stressful days and depressing nights. thinking of when i will be able to get some rest. is there even such a thing as rest days for me? i haven’t felt well rested in a very long time. i’ve been constantly under pressure, whether from my school work or the occasionally unstable and toxic environment in my family, it seems i’m not able to find peace. i've had to go through a lot of exams, and i still am currently going through even more of them until the end of this month. on top of that, are also house renovations. i now no longer have a place to use my computer. or at the very least, a private place. i knew this day would eventually come, it seems like every year my privacy in this home has slowly been taken away from me little by little. i think it’s probably one of the bigger reasons for why i have quit playing video games entirely. it’s been pretty much gimped from the beginning that this is something that i cannot pursue to the fullest extent i wish for. i’ll keep prevailing though, my financial situation hasn’t improved since last year. but i’m slowly getting back to where i want to, though i’m probably gonna ditch playing it safe with my money and drop 500$ on a mini pc. just to have it in my room as my daily computer. i already have one set up to host all my music and movies and anime. and also the lurk project which i have decided to ditch as of today because i feel it’s been compromised because of my oversight and improper planning and timing. it’s probably for the best to ditch it at this state. i didn’t really have a plan for this project. it was just do something weird and see if people would react. some people did and it was pretty funny to see. most people just either ignored it or slapped it with a ban. i think it could’ve been interesting if i had gone through properly planning it and turning it into some form of ARG. i kind of tried to do that but it was at a really late stage and my plans fell through. on top of feeling the need to isolate myself from people and being busy with my school and family. it’s probably for the best that i have ditched this. i’ll try to come up with something new in the future. i’m sure i can figure something fun. assuming i don’t take a summer semester ill go through with my mini pc project and start building two separate operating systems. one for windows and one for my media server and such. i have it all planned out it’s just the fact that the machine being not fanless worries me about keeping it running 24/7/365. this mini pc i already have is an absolute beast in running for weeks and months. and it’s probably thanks to being fanless that it’s able to do that. ill see what happens. my family is going to seattle and virginia around may 7th. i’ll probably still be busy with uni but i’ll take that one month chance to get a mini pc and start working on it as a side project. since i’ll be mostly alone at home with no one to worry about or stress about needing me to help them with something. anyways, the tldr here is the following: - not doing too well financially but will just throw away a decent chunk of it on my mini pc project because i don’t care anymore. - busy with uni stress and depressing/stressful family situation. - ditched lurk project because i don’t have motivation/ feeling the need to isolate myself socially. - family going to virginia for a month so i will use some of that time to relax and also work on the mini pc project while dealing with uni. i think that’s all i have to say on my mind, maybe i could talk more about the family situation. but i’ll keep it for another time.